Friday, November 28, 2014

Norsk Rager!

Hello all.  Happy holidays!  For my American friends, I hope you had a glorious Thanksgiving, filled with turkey, cranberry sauce, awkward political arguments, good beers, and delicious amounts of familial gossiping or nay-saying.  For my non American friends, happy Thursday, you Socialist bastards.

I, myself, have much to be thankful for: a good job, good friends, wacky adventures, and an ample supply of terrible Egyptian beer.  And, of course, my three or four readers.  Also, I have great news to share.  In April I will be heading to Norway!

 . . .


The land of vikings, trees, snow, and, um . . . more snow!

And boats!

And, of course, kick ass landscapes that have inspired D&D enthusiasts (but not those AD&D snobs) for decades.

There's like six ogres and a beholder in that cabin.

So why am I going, you may ask?  Well, last April I hit Latvia, and it was awesome.  So, going North for Spring Break makes a fistful of sense as it is, but there is one sexy reason . . . the Inferno Festival!

Yeah, kind of.

The Inferno Festival, you curious bastards, is an annual Black Metal concert that darkens the already darkened streets of Oslo.  As an avid fan of black metal (check out my Skogen review!) I've always had this concert as a large chunk of my heavy metal bucket list.  A few years ago I went to Wacken (as recounted here) and it was fantastic, so I am super pumped.

For those of you who are not very familiar with Black Metal, it is basically Death Metal's socially awkward cousin.   You know, the cousin with the spikes, leather, occasional neck beard, and a complete sense of Not Giving A Fuck.  And I love it so, so much.  More primal, more raw, and usually far more atmospheric, it has its roots in Norway, and one look at the landscape can tell you why.

So Metal.

There tends to be lots of corpse paint, spikes, chains, and rage, not necessarily in that order.  

I think that was his hot tub.

The imagery appealed to my 14 year old thunder and now, as a wizened old man, I don't wear the leather but I still love the music.  Most people I know wouldn't even call it music, of course, but most people tend to be enslaved by radio or whatever a pod cast is, so screw those jerks.  The first time I heard Mayhem it changed my musical life and I am glad to report they are still going strong today, even though they ate their first singer more than twenty years ago, which normally causes a rift in the band.  Here is a song from one of their newer albums, Order Ad Chao, which is one of my favorite Black Metal releases ever.  If you can make it through the whole song I will give you a skull shaped lollipop.

It's gonna be a great time, ladies and gentlemen.  I will have four days of Black Metal and beer filled rage, then, when my super patient but not very metal lady friend shows up, we shall do the more cultural side of Norway.  Hopefully that will still involve beer, leather, and vikings, because, I mean, come on, it's Norway.

Oh yeah it is.

See you in April, you frost bitten bastards.