Saturday, July 30, 2011

Congo Bongo

I can't wait to fight Joe Don Baker in that volcano.

So as a quick update- today I am off for The Congo. I will arrive late on Sunday and start my new gig Monday morning. Mallorca was awesome (stories to follow) and I hope you loyal readers or three follow me along to my next adventure. If that movie is any indication, there will be albino monkeys attacking me at every turn, with Tim Curry whispering sweet nothings into my ear, preferably whilst wearing fishnet and eyeliner.


Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Reality Deathmatch: a 10 year retrospectacle.

So, in light of the epic series on Gene Hackman (read the entire five part masterpiece here), I have been asked many questions. Chief among them, what the hell kind of college would allow something like this to go on? What august institution would condone that type of behavior? The answer is easy. The same one that also sanctioned this:

man, arterial spray is so hot.

It was a crazy time, my friends, and now when I am in a pondering mood, ten years after the last pinfall on that final deathmatch, sometimes I am still baffled by the fact that we were allowed to do this.

So what happened? Who was involved? How did we get permission? What caused that injury? Why did those jeans fit so well?

Looking back at my life, it seems that, for better or for worse, it's a life filled with stories. Like that guy from the movie Big Fish, only without those sexy Siamese twin chicks.

It's been a decade since the curtain fell, and now this story is ready to be told.

Stay tuned . . .

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Mallorca, You Sexy Bastard

good ponder action.

I have been in Mallorca for almost three weeks now and I can officially say that this place is kick ass, in the true Jack Blackian sense of the word. During the day, an island paradise with beautiful weather and gorgeous views. At night, the same wonderful vistas, with the addition of unbelievably attractive Spanish women in spandex mini skirts and six inch wedges throwing up everywhere. This is truly a land of contrasts.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Mallorca Cavorta

Like Goatse, except not the worst thing in the world.

I am in Mallorca for one month, and will be leaving behind all thoughts of censorship, Gene Hackman, and mindless rage. As good stories occur to me, I shall post them here, dear reader (all two of you).
But first, a quick "why Mallorca is great" story (Other than the topless beaches, of course)- our first day of class we had a coffee break at 10:30 am. As we entered the coffee shop, I saw an old guy drinking a pint of beer (so early- what a trooper). He was wearing a "Go Canada" shirt and a knee brace. It was like a white trash trifecta . . . made me think of home . . . sniff sniff.