So, what have I been up to? Oh, not much, dear reader, but thanks for asking. Mostly the usual: spider attacks, river bank beers, educating the masses, trying and failing to watch wrestling on Youtube. Same old same old, as they say. Well, except for one thing.
. . .
At this point I would assume an awkward silence has descended over the area around your computer. Pretty much like the last third of every M Night Shyamalan movie ever.
So, anyway . . .
My new book is out! It's called Endtyme: My Apocalypse and Me, and is my second full length novel (no big deal). It took me three years and three countries to write. Started in Taiwan, made awesome whilst cavorting in Mallorca, and finished in Congo. It was released on May 1st and is available to buy here. There will be a Kindle version along shortly for you cheap sumbitches. Check out the sexy cover art:
It's a (hopefully) humorous story about the end of the world and one man's quest to crawl out of the wretched cycle of sweatpants and the kind of vodka that comes in plastic bottles. Endtyme has already sold a whopping ten copies so you know there is some quality stuff there. In addition, every purchase entitles the buyer to a free beer of their choice at some nebulously defined point in the future.
So yeah, I know this has been a pretty plug heavy edition of the rage cage, but I can make it up to you, dear reader. I have at least two good stories to tell about events of the past week and shall pass them on to you in due course. In the meantime, if you're cast adrift without my soothing words and witty insights to chart your path (sort of like Tom Hanks in Joe Vs the Volcano, after he is stranded on the luggage . . . man, what a great movie), then I know the perfect fix: buy my book, you bastards. If you don't like it I will give you three fist bumps and a Sam Adams.
Tune in next week when I will reveal the best line that should be in a romantic comedy starring Drew Barrymore ever!